Stupid Roses
by Fleeting Shadows
Summary: My pain is knowing I can't have you, but sure; we can just blame it on the rain... (A two-shot because I'm lazy :P)
1. Blame it on the Rain

**Stupid Roses  
**My pain is knowing I can't have you, but sure; let's just blame it on the rain…

* * *

"Tell me that was a lie," I growled, then sunk my claws into the ground. I didn't want to hurt Rai, hadn't meant to head-butt him so hard. But he knew I was prone to a bad temper, and the way my sapphire rings were glowing in the dim light of our den should have been a dead giveaway that I was upset.

To my relief, the Jolteon staggered to his paws outside, eyes narrowed. "And what if I'm not?"

Again I flexed my claws, not wanting to lash out at my denmate. My heart was racing now, lurching uncomfortably in my chest, and just looking at him made me want to rake my claws over his face. "Shut up."

Instead of throwing a witty remark my way as he had always done, Rai spared a quick glance upward. I followed his gaze to find that the clouds above us were heavy and black, adorned with lightning that shown like icy veins in the sky, threatening to wash us away with angry torrents of water. "Tell me that you don't like her," I heard myself saying. In my defense, I wasn't feeling too rational tonight to begin with.

"Tell me why it matters first," came his growling retort.

"It doesn't."

"Then I don't."

My right ear twitched, incredulous. "…You just telling me what I wanna hear?"

"Of course I am," he said back, flashing his signature smirk. "Everyone knows Nova gets what she wants, am I right?"

I felt hot under my fur then, a flush of heat across my cheeks. My rings were pulsating now, more strongly than before, and I turned away, embarrassed. It wasn't a gesture I was used to and I immediately I felt like a fool after I'd done it. _Damn it all…_

Rai just gave a simple shrug. "I don't see what the damage is. She's cute – I like her. Is that so wrong?"

It took me a moment to notice that my claws were flexing again. The fur along my neck was rising, and that anxious feeling had just changed to a crushing, sinking pit in my belly. "Shut _up_, Rai."

"… I think I know what the problem is," he said, a knowing smirk playing on his lips.

"What?"

"You're _jealous_." He put so much emphasis on the word I thought I might explode. "Wow Nova, I didn't think an Umbreon like you had it in her to fall head-over-heels for a 'chump' like me."

"First of all, me love _you_?"—I made a gagging noise—"That's disgusting. Secondly, love is for dopes. I couldn't possibly care less about your love life."

I made an effort to show my apathy by drawing my tongue over my paw to wash my ears, albeit my heart was beating so hard I thought I might break a rib. But the Jolteon's brow only furrowed, a flicker of something unfamiliar in his eyes.

The wind was picking up, whipping my fur, and my anger only rose with the storm. He was just standing there, watching me—observing me. It always made me want to shrink under his gaze when he did that, but this time I felt like I could melt like ice in the springtime. I hated the feeling. I hated that only he could make me feel this way.

I hated _him_, too.

Nope; nothing rational about my mind tonight.

"Why don't you just admit that you can't stand the thought of me being with another female," he said lowly. "It'd make things a hell of a lot easier if you weren't so closed-off."

"I'm _not_ jealous," I said through clenched teeth.

"But you sure are stubborn," he snapped back. "I'm your best friend, and you treat me like an outsider when it comes to your feelings."

"My feelings are my own business."

"And whose business is it when you head-butt me and won't tell me why?"

My right ear twitched, but Rai spoke again before I could retort. "Just admit it. You're in love with me."

"No."

"And you're just afraid of your feelings. That's it, isn't it?"

I faltered a bit. "Shut up, Rai."

"And the irony of it all—"

"I said _shut up_!" before I knew what I was doing I was on his back, bowling him over onto his side and gaping my jaws for a bite. Though, he threw me off with a swift movement from his massive shoulders before I could do so. Then, to my surprise, he turned on his heel and tackled me, and I felt a rush of confusing emotions as he held me down, muzzle barely an inch from mine as he restrained me.

The storm had finally broke, a streak of lightning touching down in the distance as rain fell like bombshells from the heavens. The thunderclap rung out just as the first rush of rain hit the earth, and in a matter of seconds the two of us were soaked, breathing heavily and practically snarling at each other like a couple of wild Mightyena.

To my disgust, my eyes had been glued to his the whole time. The intensity in his deep emerald stare sent a small thrill up my back, and my rings began to pulsate in erratic patterns, much to his bafflement. A small part of me wanted to stay like that forever, to reach up and press my lips against his, to immerse myself in his being. But I knew I could never do that. He'd chosen another female, one who was probably more beautiful and emotionally sound than I could ever hope to be. He'd never be mine; she'd have him forever.

That was when I snapped.

"Nova, this is crazy!" he finally bellowed, bringing me from my hysteric reverie.

Again, more words spilled out of my mouth without consent from my coherent mind. "But you're even crazier if you think there'll be a place for you in my den once you leave here to be with _her_!" I practically spat the word, said it so gruffly and with so much venom that I half-expected him to pass out right there.

Again, something flickered in Rai's eyes; something I didn't usually see. It only irritated me more. "So just… let me up and get outta here."

"Nova, you don't mean that…" he gave me a hurt look, but I was hurting too much more to care.

"I do," I said. "Get out… go with her. See if I care."

He let me up now, stepping back so I could get up on my paws. My legs felt so weak then I thought I'd fall again. He gave me another look. "Nova…"

"Go," was all I could say. It came out as a rasp, a shaky breath, and I had to puff out my chest to make myself feel like less of an idiot—although I don't see how much more foolish I could seem after that little display.

"But…"

"_Go_!"

I flattened my ears as he stood there, staring back with clouded eyes. It looked like he might have been conflicted, but sparks were dancing off of practically every inch of his pelt, and he and I both knew exactly how dangerous that was in the middle of a storm. "I won't tell you again," I growled.

"… Fine." He turned his back, and immediately I felt a cold weight in my belly. "I'll go," he said, "but when your feelings start to eat at you and you're stuck fighting them off on your own, don't come looking for me, 'cause I won't be here."

"Good."

Another far-off bolt of lightning struck. I noticed his ear twitch, and I was about ready to jump at him again before he lurched away and into the forest. Watching him go set something off inside of me; a hopeless feeling that made me want to crawl into my den and never come out. I felt like my whole world was ending.

The rain pounding against my skull was giving me a headache, and every time I saw the lightning strike down I wanted to hurl.

Lightning.

Electricity.

Rai...

Again, that hopeless feeling festered within me. It started in my gut and made its way all the way up to my chest, sending me into an unexplainable rage.

I made for the cave at full speed, skidding to a halt when I came across two nests lying side-by-side, made up of Pidgey down, moss, and ferns—whatever Rai and I could find when we'd made them. Mine, however, consisted of all that and a careful lining of gorse around the edges. I'd crafted it that way so we could tell whose nest was whose.

I'd always been proud of my craftwork, but seeing it now made me sick. I made it for sleeping alone, because I thought that was all I'd ever want to be, and now the thought of sitting in this empty cave day in and day out on my own made my heart twist violently on the inside.

I grabbed Rai's nest in my teeth and yanked it away from mine, watching it crumble at my touch, shaking it madly until just a tiny bit was still dangling between my jaws, then trampled what was left, gnawing, destroying what little had managed to remain in tact from my burst of rage. By the time I was finished I was standing in the middle of the small, empty cave, pelt adorned in moss and feathers and panting heavily. But somehow, among the rage and hostility, among all the pent-up frustration I had within me, I took some solace in the rainfall.

I couldn't tell you what exactly eased the tension out of me, but after a few moments of watching the rain surge down in its seemingly endless showers, I no longer felt as hopeless. The pain I felt was slowly ebbing away, and I didn't know whether I should have been relieved or afraid. To tell you the truth, I couldn't feel anything after a while.

Numb. That was the word.

I laid my head on my paws, letting my eyes droop as darkness found its way into my peripheral vision. _Sleep? Now?_

The rain was so bad I had no idea how close to dawn it was, but I didn't fight it. Sleep was what I needed; I'd feel better come tomorrow.

* * *

**So like… it took me a while to write this. *Sweatdrops* :'3 Cookies if you catch the He is We reference~**

**It's also my first story here on the site, so like... dat advice ._. Yuss. **

**Thanks for reading! :3 **


	2. Repressed Memories For the Win

**Chatper two, friends. u.u My goodness. **

**What a fail. **

**e-e I mean… this turned out so great! :D Legit!**

**T.T Enjoy~**

* * *

I narrowed my eyes, trying to get a better view of the horizon.

The sun was slowly sinking, dying down over the deep red skyline, and the moon's silvery wake was beginning to show just to my right. Night would soon befall, taking with it the sun's warmth, and I noticed a young Eevee sitting a ways away, at the mouth of a small cave-like structure, her lip protruding slightly in a pout.

I recognized that Eevee immediately. How could I not?

That was me when I was just a cub.

Whoa. Talk about freaky.

I looked around at my location, these trees and rocks, the very sky being the same I'd lived under for years and years of my life, starkly familiar in my mind, forever etched into my memory. Only I couldn't place what this was. A dream? A memory? Why does it all seem so vague?

I brought my left paw down to wave it before the Eevee's eyes, but if she noticed me she didn't show it.

Instead, stifling a shudder, she hunched her shoulders against the harsh winter chill, fluffing her silvery Eevee pelt to almost twice its size. "Where is he…?" the Eevee half-murmured in a faint, squeaky voice, her eyes drooping lower with each passing second.

"_Where's who?"_

She nearly jumped out of her fur at the sound of the voice, turning to see a larger, more thickset Eevee step out from a wall of ferns and approach her, his head tilted at a curious axis. His chestnut-brown pelt was ruffled and unkempt, with placid green eyes that scorched into her fur.

That's when it finally hit me:

This was the day I met Rai.

Huh. Repressed memories for the win, I guess…

"… Go away."

"Atta girl," I said with a nod of approval, albeit somehow I knew she couldn't hear me.

The Eevee's right ear twitched. "You lost?"

"No. Leave me alone."

A long stretch of silence followed as the younger version of Rai held her gaze, his hauntingly iridescent green eyes holding her amber-golden ones, daring her to break his gaze, to admit that she was lost, that she didn't have a clue as to where she should go. Despite herself, the younger me met his stare defiantly, but after a few moments when neither of them could bear to look away, I noticed my younger self shiver, so subtly that it was hardly noticeable, and avert her gaze, her eyes darting back toward the horizon.

Huh. Even then I'd been a sucker for these affectionate feelings.

Stupid love.

I expected there to be some kind of quip; for him to boast about how he'd bested the younger me.

Instead he wordlessly sat himself at her side, his own eyes trained on the panoramic view just ahead. "If you want me to sit with you, I can… I don't have anywhere to be."

"No thanks," she said coolly, although I could still see her shivering from the cold. "Pops will be here any minute."

The bigger Eevee narrowed his eyes at her then, but he seemed more pensive than anything. His eyes scrutinized her form, and I saw another shiver of discomfort ripple the Eevee's pelt. "W-why are you staring at me like that?"

"Who's Pops?" he asked quietly.

_Who's Pops? _I echoed in my mind.

"Well… he's…"

_My role model. _

_My idol. _

_Everything I wish I was and more. _

Instead she said simply, "He takes care of me."

"What about your mom and dad?"

I noticed the younger me's ear twitch as she faltered, just a bit, and she eyed her paws as they shuffled beneath her. "Err… we were separated in a forest fire that broke out in our old home... I couldn't find them anywhere."

I could _feel_ the lump in her throat as my own memories of that fateful night surfaced, of the fire that swallowed our forest whole along with every soul who was unfortunate to have been trapped within the walls of the inferno. I pushed the thought away for fear of the implications that would have followed regarding my kin, instead focusing on my younger self's words, clinging to them and letting them marinate in my mind, lest they stray back to more gruesome thoughts that I'd rather not brood on.

"Pops couldn't find his family either," she went on, "so he offered to stay with me until we found them."

"But you didn't, huh?" the Eevee queried, a hint of regret in his voice.

She only shook her head. "That's why we came here, but… now he's gone and I don't know the way back to our den, a-and…" her words became frantic, desolate, and her eyes were misting to the point where a teardrop teased the corner of her eye with its slow descent.

_Come on, stiff upper-lip, _I comforted in my mind, knowing full well that the young Eevee couldn't hear me. _You're strong; you don't need anyone._

I noticed then that the younger Rai had moved in closer at her side, pressing his flank against hers for comfort, and I felt my own brow crease in response. "Don't worry," he said. "I'm sure he'll be back for you; any minute now… and I… I can stay here. Just until he comes back, that is."

She nodded, her lower lip still quivering, and I didn't know if I wanted to wretch right then or hurl the both of them over a cliff. "Get out while you can," I said to my younger self, wishing more than ever that she could hear me then. "You're better off alone."

Then, as I turned my back on the bittersweet scene, I heard myself mutter, no more than a whisper, "It hurts a hell of a lot less."

* * *

I woke with a quick start, a small gasp ringing out from inside my den as I tried to recompose myself. Of all dreams, it had to be that one.

"I think I'd rather have a nightmare," I murmured bitterly, then gritted my teeth as the sound of my own voice vibrated and thrummed beneath my skull. My paw moved up to grip my pounding head, trying to rub away the dull pain. Perfect. A migraine was just what I needed at a time like this.

Just freaking perfect.

But in retrospect, falling asleep while soaked to the bone in a cold rainstorm probably wasn't the smartest decision to make last night.

Last night… I remember now. My den was a mess. My head was throbbing. The thought of Rai leaving drifted in the back of my mind, sending little pricks of anxiety through my heart, making me wince. He was never coming back. He'd chosen her after all.

Not that it was a surprise… I was used to being alone. I could still manage.

I didn't need anyone.

Despite how much I told myself this, I could feel my heart sinking. Without Rai I felt like nothing; my heart felt hollow. And all the while, all I could think about is how I'd pushed him away. How I couldn't admit to him how I felt. Stupid feelings…

Glancing out into the dusky sky, I allowed myself to take in the sight of the dimming day, stark, yet oddly appealing. That transition from day to night when the world turns monochrome and everything is subsumed in a blue-gray light. My right ear twitched with familiarity, fond memories of when Rai and I used to-

...Crap.

"I need a drink," I grumbled to myself, trying to expel that groggy feeling from clouding my mind with a shake of the head, then set off into the forest. The river was just a ways away from my den, but far enough to let my mind wander and brood on my stupidity on the way. My paws felt heavy like boulders, and my chest was tight. I felt defeated; conquered by these wretched emotions.

The thought of disappearing couldn't have been more appealing right then. To just run away and forget everything, where I could live out my life in solitude and...

_And what,_ The more reasonable part of my mind chided, _Run until your problems disappear? You can't run forever. _

"I can try," I offered weakly.

_They'll follow you wherever you go. _

I hated how right I was. "Shut up, you."

_Say what you want; you know I'm right._

I had to stop right then when something dawned on me. "I am you." Then, after a beat, asked, "Why am I even talking to myself?"

_Maybe you're just that lonely._

I sniffed. "Maybe you should shut up."

_Hey, I'm only answering your question._

"I was talking to _myself_."

_My point exactly._

"Ugh," I groaned, plopping myself down at the bank of the river, taking notice of a couple of Barbaroach that had washed up onto the riverbed, floundering helplessly for the water, their safe haven, which was just out of reach. A few of them would always find themselves stuck out on the riverbank right after a rainstorm like last night's; and usually I'd have taken to eating a couple before settling down for the day, but right now I wasn't in an eating mood. I nudged the two minnow Pokemon back into the river with a forepaw, watching as they made contact with the water and flitted away instantly.

"What are you, some kind of berry-brain?"

I whipped my head around to see two Houndour standing almost directly behind me, one short, a bit stocky, and the other one a lot taller and more lean. The taller one had his lip curled in a kind of sadistic snarl, and I guessed it was him who'd addressed me just then. However, I wasn't in the mood for socializing that evening.

"Depends. Is that big or small to you mutts?"

His ear twitched then, a low growl rumbling in his chest. "What kind of empty-headed 'Eon just lets prey escape?"

Had I been in a better mood, my initial response to that would have been _'My head's not empty - It's full of voices!' _But at that time I wasn't exactly in a joking mood. "The kind that isn't hungry," I said dryly, vaguely aware of the shorter Houndour, who tensed at my comment. "What the heck do you two want, anyway?"

"Isn't it obvious?" the lean one said with a smirk, taking a step forward. I flattened my ears instantly and bared my teeth at him, making it known that I wasn't feeling very social today. The Houndour took a small step back in return, his hackles rising. "Geez, what's got _your _fur in knots?"

"Just tell me what you want," I grunted back.

The two exchanged confirming looks, then turned to face me, a cocky smirk stretching across both their faces now. "Your den," the stocky one said simply. "It's right by the riverbed, a good distance away from the rest of the forest, and it's big enough for just the two of us to live comfortably in. "

"And you expect me to just give up my home to a couple of mangy mongrels like yourselves?" I asked bitterly, a hint of incredulity in my voice.

The bigger Houndour snorted, as if he couldn't believe what I was saying. "Of course not. We were gonna fight you and your mate for it."

I felt my heart sink a bit lower. "_Rai isn't my mate_," I snapped, venom fusing with my words. "And he and I no longer share the den; it's only mine now, so if you're looking for a battle you're out of luck."

"You don't understand," came the reply, a hint of a snarl lacing his own words. "You don't have a choice."

I stared at both Houndour for a good, long while, incredulity more than apparent by now, a subtle eye-twitch confirming my ever-rising irritation. "A fight with me is the last thing you two want right now," I chided. "I'd force you back into the hole you crawled out from with your tails between your legs."

Truthfully, I wasn't particularly in the mood for anything right now, but it _had _been a while since my last battle, and that could have been just the thing to help get my mind off of Rai, however long it would have lasted. My claws flexed eagerly into the riverbank's sodden earth, the idea of whipping these two chumps becoming more and more enticing by the minute.

The larger Houndour merely smirked. "We'll see about that then, won't we?" -And without another word of warning lunged at me, his head colliding painfully with my ribs. I managed to use my momentum to roll into the attack and throw the Houndour off of me, sending him into a denser part of the bank where the mud was thickest, and with a smug look I watched him stagger to keep his footing in the slick earth.

I leapt back at him, claws outstretched as a dark aura engulfed them and reinforced my scratch attack. Howling in pain, he attempted to swat me away with his paw, landing a solid blow on my cheek and managing to remind me that my head was pounding, submerging me in a dizzy haze of dull pain, causing me to sway on my paws for a good moment. That was all my attacker needed to thrust me off of him then. I hit the ground with a solid thud and felt the sting in my jaw, recoiling with a futile wince.

"Now!" I heard him bark, and soon I felt sets of fangs sink into my fur and clamp down, the skin along my neck beginning to burn and sear. _Fire Fang, _I thought with terror. The skin from my scruff was tearing, an excruciating pain that made my paws flail for a way of escape. I could feel my blood seeping now, warm and trickling down my neck, staining my pelt, and as the seconds passed the Houndour's grip only became tighter.

My panic was at its peak now, paws floundering and thrashing the air to try and hit something solid. Darkness was creeping at the corner of my eyes and they had me at a position where I couldn't reach either of them, helpless to their brutality.

Fighting was useless. All I could think to do was sink my claws into the earth and hope for it to end soon.

* * *

**Oh my jeebus! . _ . A cliffhanger! **

**This has officially become a three-shot, because I found myself writing more for this than I initially intended. :'D I know; I suck~ **

**Also, how was that battle scene? O.o I tried, but I feel like it turned up a fail T_T #MainReasonThisChapterWasDelayed **

**Next chapter will be better ;-; Promise. **

**So like… review? :'3**


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